How To Waste $507.69 on Amazon…

– Hey what's going on guys? This is Ken What? (flute music) Jesus Christ, okay

Um, well, this is very clearly a special episode of Mystery Tech It is the April Fools' edition, so that means that mister boss man over here is the one that's manning the camera So if the shot's out of focus, like his thumb was, blame him not me I brought some knickknacks to – [Austin] That's how Mystery Tech works – I brought my own knickknacks to make myself a little more home and comfortable while these guys try to ruin my life

Got myself a hat, also I got a, gotta prep the desk – [Matt] Is that your daughter? – Got a second one, there we go – [Austin] Oh my god, dude, dude, dude – There we go Cool, we're good now

What? Oh! What? Oh! (laughs) Wow you guys could not be any more on point Actually this was already a Mystery Tech for Austin So these are Ariana Grande themed cat ear headphones I didn't even know that she made themed ones Let's see here

Oh wow, okay Think I'm gonna move you a bit I've actually seen these a lot at conventions and always wondered who buys this crap And why, but I guess I know now Oh wow! That's actually pretty cool

I mean I can hide the fact that I'm an Ariana Grande fan by just turning off the lights, no one will ever see Okay, so lemme guess, did you spend like 150 dollars on these? – [Austin] 180 – 180? – [Austin] I can waste money too – Yeah, well it's funnier when I waste your money, not when you waste your money (laughs) Feels like you gypped yourself That's pretty much as I would expect it

It sounds muddy as hell, there's like no treble at all, kind of a little bass heavy These do have a speaker function, right? I wanna blast these Oh wow (upbeat music) What's this? Ahhh! Ahhhhhh! You guys got Roboraptor a son? Come here, okay – [Matt] That looks like if Roboraptor and Thicc Thanos had a baby

– Thicc Thanos Gotta show it now, because I pointed it out (quiet roaring) There's like no life in this, it's a robot Roboraptor is an actual living being There we go

(quiet roaring) We're two items in and I'm still disappointed Okay, whatta we got here? Oh! Yes, wait Okay now you're just being really cheap We did a Palm Pixi video, what was it, like two and a half years ago, three years ago, or something like that? And we ended up with two of these, and we were like, yeah We're gonna do a giveaway

We just forgot about it and now it's a Mystery Tech So I guess technically I won a giveaway, maybe – [Austin] This is a new Palm Pixi, I totally forgot about that last thing – You bought another one, why? (laughs) Well, look, I like the Palm Pixi Oh my god, not enough to care about the unboxing experience

So this was running Palm OS, so it had some weird Gestures thing to navigate the phone So I guess, let's open up a couple of apps and just have multitasking going It's actually kind of cool, like, just like with the iPhone X and newer, when you swipe up from the bottom, you have your multitasking screen This predates that by like 10 years, I mean shout out to Apple for stealing technology I guess Does it actually have a connection? Let's find out

– [Austin] Yeah, I'm just gonna stop, it's not gonna work The reason is, this is before SIM cards, this is the old network, so it has embedded SIMs That's why the date is correct, 'cause it's actually on the network – Oh! – [Austin] There's no service – But it does work for 911 though, right? – [Austin] You're committing a felony on camera, right? Wait, that's illegal

As he accidentally hits send – You made me look (laughs) Yeah, let me go to YouTube and see what works Or maybe it just won't – Well we definitely won't find it in the most viewed section, would we? – [All] (laughing) – [Austin] Also, for the record, we had 35 minutes, and we made it through two products

– (laughing) Great! Alright, you know, this phone actually belongs in the garbage, 'cause nothing works on it So we can move on now She's like three feet tall, it's like she's like an actual child (crowd awws) – Whoa! – [Austin] You still have a knife in your hand? (laughs) – I don't know what this is But we will find out

I know what that is – [Matt] For the record, this is my contribution – Matt, I love you Did I ever tell you that? – [Matt] I know! – He got me some kicks, man I mean, they're not of any real name brand or anything, but I'm not shallow or bitter about it

I will say, it's got some really suspicious-looking bomb parts, which – [Austin] What, what is this? – Bomb parts Oh, these are to charge

Okay that makes way more sense So to turn on, locate switch inside of the hem of the shoe So it's this thing Oh look at that They light up

But they have like the Yeezy bottom, which is, that's a look, I guess Let me put these on These are actually surprisingly comfortable, not gonna lie Ehh! Also, don't turn 'em on yet (energetic music) Oh, they do change colors, look at that! Oh, whoa! Matt, are you epileptic? Come over here, I need to try these out

If I had to guess, these shoes right here, 20 bucks – [Austin] No – Okay, 30 – [Austin] 33 – 33? That's not bad, 'cause Yeezys cost like 220 bucks, and these light up, the real ones don't

I mean – [Austin] Take that, Kanye – So, what else we got? Oh no Oh boy! Austin's finally taking me seriously Here we go

I better take this a little more Okay, we're good now So this is the ASUS VivoBook W202N It's a very, very unnecessarily confusing name for something like this What's in here? – [Austin] Just hold on, hold on figure it out later

– I was trying to make it serious – [Matt Yeah that was your first mistake – So, yeah, looks like a pretty standard laptop Nothing super crazy Is this a Chromebook? No? This looks like their Chromebook, this looks like the one that we destroyed a couple months ago

Like, the one with the rubber corners – [Austin] You're getting warmer – Is this a waterproof laptop? – [Austin] Ding ding ding! – Oh, see I know our content What do you want me to spill on it today? This video is sponsored by Intel Right? No? – Okay, well that's a shame

This is actually interesting, I mean, I don't know how much this is and I'm gonna guess you're gonna tell me in a second, but I mean the trackpad's not bad, obviously it could be better But at the price, you can't really complain How much is this thing? – That's not terrible though, right? Like, all things considered? – [Austin] You pay an extra 50 bucks for the waterproofing and the durable design – Yeah, which, I mean I don't know who's actually buying these, but I'm gonna guess probably schools I mean with this rugged design you're probably gonna give this to a kid, and if they say, I don't know, like, oops I dropped it, it's gonna to be totally fine

Ooh, that's cool, the screen goes flat I can't see anything from here, the viewing angles are garbage (Thomas the Tank Engine and Biggie Smalls remix) Let's pour some water on this This feels so weird, this feels so weird – [Matt] Doo it

– What the hell was that voice? My towel system is working No! Stay Oh no! Oh, that's bad Oh, there's a bunch of electrical cords there, oh no (laughs) – [Austin] (laughing) You're paralyzed with fear

No, nobody needs more, that's not what we need is more now The screen is not waterproof, the screen is not waterproof – (laughs) It's not? Why? – [Austin] Did you do your research? – What? You gave me this thing, I don't know anything about it – [Austin] Okay no stop, stop! That's enough, that's enough That's not waterproof

It's not – Oh god, oh Okay, here – [Matt] Why are you drying off the knife? There's totally power outlets that are wet right now – Should I dry that off too? – [Austin and Matt] Yes! – Okay

– No, this! – [Matt] Dry paper towel! – [Austin] Unplug it, what are you doing? – [Ken] Oh, yeah, okay – Oh, it stopped working literally as I tapped it – [Austin] Well yeah, 'cause you poured a whole bottle of water on it Wait, flip it upside down – [Matt] There's like a giant puddle

– [Austin] So you killed a laptop and you almost killed yourself Most importantly, you almost killed Matt – That's okay, expendable It's fine – Okay, Austin has one more item

Let me put this laptop, or what was a laptop, out of the way Let's see You got me an art set? Crayola art, wait, what really? They have a signature brand Oh that's nice, that's thoughtful of you What else, what else we got? – You're fired

– Oh, that's a way, that's a way to tell me (light applause) (melancholy piano music)

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